Being a stay-at-home mom is a really tough decision to make. Being a stylist for 10 years was who I had become. I had my artistic outlet on a regular basis and it was wonderful! I had something relaxing to do every day. I was able to do something I loved Every. Day. Before meeting my husband, J, I had been ok with being a party of 1. I was ok with eventually meeting someone and being content with that person. I didn’t need a piece of paper to say I loved that special person. I was ok with not having children. I was at the point in my life where I was ok with just being alone. I had actually made plans to move out of state to pursue my career after I made a little bit more money. Then there was one day when I met my husband and everything changed! I never understood when people said, “the moment I met my husband, my whole life changed!” Well, now I know and here is what I’ve learned!
I Get To Raise My Boys
From the moment I found out we were pregnant, there was a part of me that knew I wanted and needed to be home with our baby. I was a hair stylist for 10 years. My husband and I contemplated daycare for quite a while but my gut told me I needed to be home. As time went by, my gut feeling was right. L has a pretty serious speech delay and has sensory issues. (Lights are too bright, things smell funny to him, sounds are much louder and irritate him more, etc.) Pretty early on, we knew we needed to have him evaluated and eventually he was in therapy twice a week. This was something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I was working.
I love being home with my boys. Summer is coming up very soon and I couldn’t be more excited! Instead of having them home, sitting on a tablet, glued to a screen, they will be out with me. Going to parks, making art projects, painting, visiting family. I want to make sure that they get more experiences in their young lives that they enjoy rather than giving them stuff. Stuff that will eventually break or stuff that is a fad and will be put in the next garage sale. Instead, my boys will be learning all summer. They will be experiencing as much as I can get my hands on. My life is all about my boys and I love that I get to raise them all day every day.
Having a hot meal on the table every night is very important to me. Being able to prepare something warm and of good quality is a priority for me. It is not just about food but a time to talk about our day. I love hearing the stories from L about school or the school bus. Hearing D ask for whatever we have on our plates (even thought he has the same thing) is so funny. He always finds Daddy’s food much better somehow. I sometimes forget to appreciate the little things. My boys are a great reminder.
I know many of you are wondering why housework is on the pro list! Having 2 young boys and a 95 lb. dog makes for a lot of mess. Whether it is legos, imaginext toys, crayons or anything else, there is always a mess somewhere! Honestly, I cannot fathom working a full time job and coming home to a messy house to deal with too! I have mad props for all the women out there who can do both!
I Get To Do The Yard Work!
I know this is another one that sounds crazy but I think mowing the lawn and weeding the flower beds is so cathartic. Mowing the lawn makes sure I get my steps in. It gives me time to think and I feel like I am really making a difference, however small it is. With every pass of the lawnmower and every pull of a weed makes me feel like I have accomplished something more than the usual laundry and dishes. Plus, knowing that my husband doesn’t have to come home from a long day’s work to work more at home makes me happy. I took a vow to love and honor my husband. I try to do this daily as he does the same for me. He could have chosen anyone to be with. He is such a great man and I am so blessed that he chose me.
Lack Of Stress
I am totally a control freak. I have a routine for most everything. I get very anxious when things don’t work out the way I expect. I used to be spontaneous and crazy and fun…then I had kids! The less I have to think of, the better. For the short time I was working after having L, I was constantly thinking about being home. At the same time, when I was at home, I was thinking about work. I knew I was doing both things half way and that wasn’t fair to anyone. I am much better when I am at home with my boys. I feel like being home with them makes me a better person and mom.
Don’t get me wrong, we have had to give up a TON with me not working and it is still darn stressful. I have trimmed the fat in out budget everywhere I can think of and even then, things are hard but at the end of the sometimes very long day, it is SO worth it. All the little things are worth more to me. I took D to the park today and until yesterday, he wouldn’t go down the slide by himself. After watching his brother do it a day earlier, he tried it and succeeded. Seeing the look on his face when he did something that seemed so simple reminded me how much I love being home. There are days I want to go driving until I run out of gas because I am so stressed. Today was not one of those days. I was sad to have to put the boys to bed because I was enjoying them so much. I am sure there will be other posts when I talk about feeling like I will pull my hair out because they are driving me crazy but luckily, that’s not today!
To anyone asking if it is worth it to stay home, Yes! Do it! Those babies only stay young for a short time and it changes so, so fast! They need their mom and they love you more than you know!