So, this is March 21st, 2020. I haven’t been writing much of anything lately since I have been so busy with the 3 kiddos. Now that we have been home for a week, I figured this was the best time to get back on the horse and fill you guys in on what’s happening.
A whole lot of nothing! As most don’t know, I have always had pretty significant bouts of depression and anxiety and I needed to take some time off from many things to get my head on straight. I realized I was putting so much pressure on myself to do and be everything for everyone else that I wasn’t taking care of myself like I should. I was an anxious mess. I am usually up and moving because of the boys but even if I wanted to, I couldn’t sit still. Once I got L and D into school full day, I thought I would have time to sit and relax, especially during H’s nap time. When I was alone, my anxiety was actually worse! I wanted to try and do everything I can’t do when there are 3 kids tugging at me.
After a while of trying to pretend I wasn’t a HOT MESS, I just needed to say enough is enough. I stopped blogging, I stopped socializing, I would drive the kids to and from school and go to the grocery store and that was pretty much it. That was most of my winter. I did a ton of soul searching and had to find a way to get into a better headspace because I was not there and it was effecting every relationship of mine.
The thing is, I have always been really good at hiding my anxiety and depression until I can’t anymore. Unfortunately, I end up blowing up at the ones I hold most dear. Pick up and drop off, I am smiling and laughing and making jokes but in all honesty, it was exhausting! I would get in the car and let out a sigh of relief that I could just go home.
Now, you may be wondering why I am putting this out there for the world to read. Yep, I know. Its a heavy topic. But here’s the thing. There are people out there who need to know that this happens. That this can happen and that you are not alone. It is important to talk about the uncomfortable things and not just the perfect highlights.
How did I get out of this low?
I went to my doctor. I started doing things for myself. I picked up a super cheap treadmill and started walking and lifting weights. I started eating better. I started doing my hair again instead of putting it up and looking like a homeless person. (Don’t get me wrong, I still regularly wear my yoga pants! Lets not get crazy!) I was setting such unrealistic, high goals for myself physically, mentally and emotionally that I was pushing myself further down the spiral. Now I have small goals. Lose 2 pounds, get and keep my head on straight. Journal when I feel stressed. I even started a gratitude journal to remind myself of all the wonderful people and experiences I have in my life every day.
Guys, times are TOUGH! The kids are home for another 3 weeks, The stores are bare. Things are changing from day to day and sometimes hour to hour. This is causing so much more stress, anxiety, depression etc. on everyone. Instead of continuing the cycle, why not try to break it. Put your phone down. Stop checking for updates. Go for a walk. Play a game with your kids (They notice a lot more than you realize. Do a mental check in with your kiddos to see if they are ok!). Call or FaceTime someone you haven’t seen in a while. All of these small changes add up to significantly altering your mental health!
All of these things are just some thoughts that have been going through my head. I am planning on getting back to the blog regularly. if you haven’t yet, please feel free to subscribe! I won’t sell your info! I promise!
As always, I thank you for reading! I appreciate each and every one of you!
Have a great day,